HEART THOUGHTS... from Helen

"Sisterly Love"

“The person who obeys God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:35, THE MESSAGE)

My older sister, Judy and I use what might be termed ‘sister speak’. Sister speak involves code words from years of memories shared. She’s my ‘Big Sisty’ and I’m her ‘Lil Sisty’. Silly? Probably. But who’s to say what constitutes silly in family traditions. We giggled a lot as little girls. One such giggle fest took place in church. A vivid memory unfolds, as I remember somehow one of us breaking a little strand of fake pearls and them all tumbling to the floor (not carpeted) in the middle of the service of this little country church. Judy and I got the giggles and couldn’t stop. We often got the giggles when we’d go out to eat which wasn’t a frequent thing back in the day. Daddy got so embarrassed one Sunday we were threatened with having to go sit in the car. We couldn’t stop.

Judy is three and a half years older and my brother, Gene is seven years older than me. I am the baby in my family of origin. My mother still calls me her ‘Baby Chile’.

Sisters share a lot of history, both good and bad. We fought over who would wash the dishes and who would dry the dishes. Who would dust and who would cook. We joked over the old song “Clementine”. You remember that one, don’t you? One of the last lines being: “til he kissed her little sister, and forgot his Clementine.” I did tease her about that. Even though it never happened, I loved picking at her about it. I don’t think she always appreciated it. We argued over the telephone as teenagers. Only one phone at the end of the hallway and I can see her sitting with her knees pulled up to her chin whispering into the mouth piece so no one could hear. I did the same thing when it was my turn.

Judy always looks her very best, not a hair out of place, not a wrinkle in her attire… so not like me who flies by the seat her pants... She is well put together. Another memory that comes from our church growing up years is that of an older woman talking to mother after the service. “That Judy is the prettiest little thing.” As I looked up into their faces I waited for her to include me; she didn’t. She distinctly looked at me and said nothing. Oh well!!!!

My sister, Judy, reveals her generous and empathetic heart to all who seek her shoulder to cry on. She truly exhibits care and understanding for those in pain and need. When my daddy died Judy took my mother in from Bethea Retirement Community to house and hold her close in her fresh widowhood. At the time Dennis and I took care of his aging mother in another part of the state. Judy and my brother-in-law, Jim, took such good care of mother, spoiling her like she’d never been spoiled her whole life. She thrived on it. She lived close to our old home place and in the same town as her other family members and doctors. They couldn’t have done a better job of honoring our mother.

As years passed, mother aged, Judy and Jim aged and health issues cropped up that resulted in mother’s decline leading to the stroke that hospitalized, and then required nursing home rehabilitation. It was an evident fact that Mother needed more care than we were able to administer at home, so she resides at National Health Care in Sumter. Only those siblings who have had to make such decisions and then live with them know the trauma that accompanies them. And who is it that takes care of all the paper work, the day to day business, the laundry, the loving, and the phone calls the encouraging, the trips to doctors, and the birthday parties? It’s Judy and of course her hard working husband, Jim, right alongside.

I admire my sister’s gifts of service, love, hospitality and over all willingness to do whatever is necessary ‘because that’s what family does’. Judy is a hugger and an affectionate sibling. She and I have a sister’s bond that cannot and will not be broken. Do we always agree…does any sibling? But we choose to move toward what we do agree on and carry on. As Judy struggles with her own health issues, she continues to listen to others and encourage them in theirs, because she knows whereof she speaks. She’s right as she reiterates the saying of today, “It is what it is”.

I think of sisters in the Scripture such as Rachel and Leah in the first book of the Bible, Mary and Martha from the tenth chapter of Luke. There are so many lessons to be learned from each one. Over time I believe we can identify with both sisters in both stories in a variety of ways at different times in our lives. The Lord loved both sets of sisters and He chose to display their good traits along with their better ones. Jesus, Himself had two sisters, I believe, and brothers in his earthly family. He surely knows the interchange, good, bad and indifferent, that takes place in the family unit.

Jesus also said at one point, “For whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:35 NASB)

I’m so thankful to say that my sister does the will of God. In ‘sister speak’ you could say, we are sisters times two.